Russians
by TheGiraffeGirl
Summary: Huntress is on a mission. Question isn't happy about it. H/Q.
1. A Question

Disclaimer: I don't own Huntress or The Question.

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Vic saw Helena the moment he walked into the room. She stood out from the black-clad dignitaries in a deep purple dress, with a slit along the side cut tantalizingly high. He watched her for a while, relishing her beauty, her elegance, her grace. She glided across the room holding a slender flute of champagne. Mingling with the other guests, one would never believe that she spent most of her time viciously beating up criminals or grading papers in the crustiest pair of sweats Vic had ever seen. Her long, dark hair was arranged carefully on her head, leaving her long neck bare. The eyes of every man in the room (including his) were pulled almost magnetically to her, taking in the swish of her hips as she sashayed across the room, the teasing glimpses of leg her dress revealed and above all, the fact that a man was now wrapping an arm around those perfect shoulders and planting a wet, sloppy kiss on an angular cheekbone.

Vic was in shock. Across the room a hideous blonde man who had the features of an angel and the build of Superman had his slimy hands all over his girlfriend. In the places that were meant for his hands only. And Helena wasn't even reacting. She hadn't broken his legs or arms, not even a wrist. Instead she was giggling and blushing and rubbing up against him. The slimy toad was whispering into her ear and his hands were travelling lower and lower and lower, reaching for her-

'Helena!' he yelled.

The entire room started and looked disapprovingly at the red-headed man with the camera and voice recorder. Helena ignored him and continued to gaze into the blonde ape's eyes. Vic stormed across the room and planted himself right in front of her, barely suppressing the urge to murder the blonde pig whose hands seemed to be cemented to the curves of Helena's body.

'Helena, what are you doing here?'

What was she doing here, indeed? It had been the question on his mind ever since he'd seen her. Attending black-tie mixer party for Russian and American dignitaries was hardly the way Helena spent her Friday nights. Vic had been in darkest Peru proving his latest conspiracy: that alpacas were the cause of all global warming, due to their abnormally high body temperatures. Spending three weeks living undercover on an alpaca farm with no electricity, gas or even running water had caused the Question to become somewhat out of touch. He'd given up on his theory after discovering that there weren't enough alpacas in the world to significantly alter the global temperatures. An incident involving an angry, spitting alpaca hadn't helped either. Just 4 hours ago he'd teleported to Helena's Gotham apartment hoping to find Helena there. In his day dream, she'd greet him with a kiss and pull him close into her soft yet strong frame. She'd smother his lips with hers and drag him into her bed and pull him inside her. They'd stay up into the wee hours of the morning making up 3 weeks of not being in each other's presence. Instead he'd been greeted by an inch of dust on every flat surface and half of Helena's wardrobe littered across the apartment. Then Vic's boss had called threatening to fire him if he didn't write an article by Monday. 'And it better be damn good, Sage. You don't turn up to work for weeks and you haven't written an article in months. Whadaya think I'm running, a goddamn charity?' The mixer was virtually the only event that didn't already have a journalist covering it. No one wanted to get stuck in a room full of boring old men whose comments were always 'no comment'.

His question echoed through the ballroom and Vic was suddenly aware of roughly a hundred pairs of all glued on him and the scene he was single-handedly creating. Helena was looking at him with a look he'd never had directed at him before. It was a mix of contempt, disdain and pity.

'Valerie?' The blonde buffoon asked, wrapping his arms around her even tighter, 'Is there a problem?' He was shooting daggers at Vic with his eyes.

'No, sweetie,' said Helena, disentangling herself from his arms and taking a step forward. She was standing inches from him. 'There's no problem.' She looked Vic straight in the eye and asked, 'Do I know you?'

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I'm going to continue this, hopefully if I have time and I get enough reviews!

I have no idea if any of the stuff about alpacas is true. I made it all up.


	2. Progression

Chapter 2

Vic's head whirled as he struggled to come up with a plausible story from the limited information he had.

'I... um, thought you looked... familiar,' he mumbled.

She looked at him coldly, 'Not a problem, it happens all the time. I'm sure you've heard of me. Valerie Wayne, I've been up and down every catwalk that matters. And you are?'

'Victor Sage, I'm a reporter for the Gotham Times and I'm here to interview a Mr Yuri Alexsandrov.' The situation was making slightly more sense.

'That would be me,' said the blonde, whose hands were crawling back onto Helena, no _Valerie_'s body. 'And I am not doing interviews tonight. Go ask my father. I know nothing about politics. I am only here in America for the women.' His looked hungrily at Helena, a leer on his face. Helena flushed as he started nibbling her ear, leaving Vic to fill the awkward lapse in conversation. Vic knew better than to blow Helena's cover, but that didn't mean he felt comfortable watching another man move his hands all over his girlfriend.

Yuri finally seemed to remember him. He removed his face from Helena's neck long enough to mutter 'Goodbye, now.'

Helena followed suit. 'It was nice meeting you, uh... Vincent,' she said, shaking Vic's hand. She returned to Yuri and the two of them walked away.

Vic looked down at the piece of paper she'd slipped him. She'd better have a good explanation for this.

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sorry this is really short. i actually wrote it with chapter 1 but i didnt publish because i couldn't resist having the awesome cliffhanger.

thanks for all the positive reviews! i'll try to update often.


	3. An Answer

thanks for the reviews. i'm sorry about the cliffhangers, i hate reading them too but i just can't resist. :)

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Chapter 3

Helena struggled to maintain her composure as she walked away from Vic. The overgrown toddler known as Yuri seemed to have five hands and he was running them all over her. She fought the urge to kick him where it would _really _hurt. She knew she couldn't, of course. Yuri was the son of an incredibly important Russian minister and Helena was his glorified baby sitter. His life was in peril as long as he was in the United States. Various political activist groups wanted him dead and had started sending death threats every day. If Yuri was killed on American soil his father could, and would, declare war. The Justice League had sent Flash and Booster Gold to be bodyguards (much to Flash's chagrin: 'Babysitting!') but they had been promptly rejected by Yuri. He thought having security was weak and weaknesses would drive away the women. A more subtle plan was then formulated. A female member of the Justice League would hang around Yuri and pretend to be a civilian, rather than a bodyguard. Yuri would have no idea he had security and he would be safe. The plan was deemed foolproof and Wonder Woman volunteered to take on the mission.

Within hours, the League soon saw the gaping hole in their plan. Yuri's main objective in life seemed to be to sleep with everything that had an X chromosome. Calling his behaviour towards women degrading would've been the understatement of the decade. This didn't bode well with an Amazonian princess who'd been brought up to view men as scum. She lasted two days before she'd snapped after Yuri had called her a 'hot chick' and slapped her butt. Superman had had to be called in to restrain her. Black Canary's stint as courter/bodyguard had ended similarly; Yuri now had a constant, inexplicable ringing in his ears. Vixen had refused outright to take part in the mission after hearing about Yuri's behaviour towards women. Shayera's wings made her too distinctive to go undercover. During Zatanna's brief period of body guarding, Yuri's eyes had been glued to her legs for two days and she'd blown her cover after Yuri's hand crawled too high. Her magic had exploded out of her, sending out of control spells in all directions. It had taken a mammoth effort from all the magical members of the League to reverse the spells and Zatanna had been taken off the mission. So far Huntress had lasted four days on the job, which was practically a world record considering Black Canary had snapped six hours after meeting Yuri. Helena could put up with his slimy hands, and his grimy leer, even his constantly garlic flavoured breath; it was nothing she wasn't used to from her nightly patrols. But the look on Vic's face when he saw her with Yuri had just about broken her heart.

_I'm sorry you had to see that. Room 159 at Hilton Gotham. I'll explain everything._

The note had been scrawled on the back of a brochure in what appeared to be eyeliner. Vic turned on his heel and stalked out of the ballroom. The article he had to write was completely forgotten. He had some hacking to do...

Three hours later Vic knew every detail about Helena's mission (thank you hacking into Batman's private files) and everything about Yuri Aleksandrov (thank you hacking into a top secret Russian military database). By his calculations the mixer party would end at 11:30 pm, leaving him an hour and a half to burn. He was more relaxed now; he was fully up to speed and in control. He pondered whether to stay at Helena's apartment or go back to the party. He sighed. Opening a new Word document, he started writing an exceedingly dry article about the mixer party. He made sure to refer to Yuri only as the 'spoilt, womanising brat with garlic breath and greasy hair'.

Helena was near breaking point. Three hours of listening to pompous old men talk about politics while Yuri touched and groped and kissed her. If that man called her Val-Val one more time she would—

'Val-Val,' he cooed, 'Give me a kiss.'

Helena gritted her teeth and contorted her face into what she hoped was a smile. He smiled too and put his mouth on hers. It was beyond disgusting, did this guy eat garlic with every meal or something? Helena clamped her hands firmly on his face and removed it. Garlic aftertaste; the things she did for the League...

'Yuri, I thought told you to get breath mints.' She tried to keep her voice light and playful but from the look on his face, he was hurt. God, she thought, he looks like a kid who's had his candy taken away.

'Fine,' he said sullenly, walking away.

Helena sighed. She knew she would have to go running after him like a needy, clingy stupid little bimbo. She couldn't flush four days of hard work down the drain. He was completely infatuated with her. Whether it was desire to get into her pants or love, she couldn't be sure, but Helena was counting the days until he went back to Russia.

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hope this was long enough for you guy ;) keep reviewing, im not sure where i'll take this. any suggestions?


	4. Reconciliation

it's been a little while, my apologies...

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Vic stood in Helena's hotel room pondering the huge deposit of roses, jewellery and chocolate dumped on her dresser. Had she become a thief who stole exorbitant amounts of gaudy jewellery and ridiculously extravagant arrangements of roses shaped like swans? He toyed with theories in his mind, each more ludicrous than the one before. Her room was being used as storage for a florist, she was conducting research to determine the amount of flowers needed to incapacitate a human, an alien had been beamed down from space and had presented her with these gifts as a peace offering. He gave up after the alien theory and resigned himself to the theory he'd been trying to avoid: Yuri was rich as hell and had been flinging expensive presents at his girlfriend willy-nilly. Vic sighed, the salary of an investigative journalist was bad to start with, the fact he rarely wrote anything wasn't helping either and the League paid a pittance to its members. His thoughts were disturbed by the sound of the door opening. He tensed. Vic no longer knew how he felt and he didn't know how Helena felt either. Her little 'act' with Yuri had seemed so real. He'd already found it hard to believe that Helena loved him; he was anything but the perfect man. He wasn't handsome or rich or tall or dashing or anything like the man Helena deserved.

'Hello, Helena,' he said, keeping his voice completely emotionless. Cool and detached was what he did when things got too hard; when it was all too painful. She walked across the room, no longer the confident strutting peacock she'd been just hours ago, but now a sad and tired woman whose boyfriend was angry at her.

Vic was angry, well maybe not angry but insecure and jealous and hurt, definitely. Helena wished he was still in Peru studying those alpacas. She couldn't deal with this now. Even though just being in the same room as him had made her mood improve drastically, she was so tired. Her feet were absolutely killing her; fighting off burly men carrying machine guns whilst wearing eight inch stilettos was not a good idea. Spending the past five hours standing in killer stilettos hadn't helped either. She took off her dress and make up and pulled on an over sized T-shirt. Vic would already know every single detail about my mission, she mused, he'd probably know even more than me. She glanced in his direction, Vic hadn't moved. He was still standing in front of her dresser, staring at the mountain of crap Yuri had pressed upon her. She walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close. She buried her face in his back and breathed him in. God, she'd missed him.

'Don't be jealous. I love you,' she whispered. She ran her hands across his chest as she covered his neck with kisses and turned his face to hers. She stared into the green eyes she loved so much and repeated, 'I love you.' The cool, detached facade fell away as pulled her close and his lips met hers in a searing kiss.

Vic lay back in the bed, breathless and flushed. Helena brought out the animalistic side of him; the minute she'd walked in, he'd wanted her. After all, it had been three weeks. His mind wandered to what they'd done in the last half an hour...

Her hands raking through his hair, their breathing ragged, collapsing onto her bed, ripping each other's clothes off. Her soft moans as his fingers stroked the softness inside her, her back arching and her body tensing before she collapsed into the bed screaming his name. Their bodies moving completely in sync, gasping her name as he released his seed inside her. His mind had been blissfully blank, she was the only one who could do that to him. Empty his mind of theories and connections and give him moments of perfect clarity, when he understood all that was important: he loved her and she loved him back. Nothing else really mattered in those moments. He smiled and draped an arm around her waist, everything was perfect. From the start he'd been expecting himself to screw everything up with this perfect woman but he'd surprised himself. A few months had grown into a year which grew into two years. Now, they were pushing two and a half years together. Vic wanted it to last forever.

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this chapter is mostly fluff and it kinda sucks. sorry. i am really really bad at writing sex scenes. i've got a few ideas for upcoming chapters though and i'll update soon.

I LOVE REVIEWS!

just saying...


	5. The Morning After

My grasp on the meaning of the word 'soon' is somewhat shaky. Sorry about how long it's taken to update, I've started my summer holidays (YAY!) and all i can seem to do is sleep and watch episodes of batman: the animated series. anyway, here's the next chapter.

Oh, and MERRY CHRISTMAS!

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Helena woke up feeling the happiest she'd been for the past week. Vic lay beside her snoring gently with his arm around her. She was about to suggest some early morning _fun_ when the hotel room's phone started ringing. The insistent, blaring sound shattered the peaceful silence as well as her good mood. Helena sighed and grudgingly picked up the phone,

'Hello?'

'Val-Val! Good morning baby,' came the sickly sweet reply. Helena muffled a scream into her pillow. What was left of her good mood disappeared and was replaced with the desire to impale Yuri's head on a pike.

'Val-Val! Are you there? Well, I'm going to spend the entire day with you today! A few boring political things first but other than that, I'm all yours.'

Helena was banging her head repeatedly into her bed's headboard. 'Sounds fun, Yuri!' she said, hoping her voice sounded perky. 'I can't wait.'

'See you soon then, we're having breakfast with your president at seven. I'll meet you in your hotel lobby at 6:50. Mwah!' With that he hung up, leaving Helena in the mother of all bad moods. Vic was still passed out in bed, for a paranoid conspiracy theorist, he sure was a deep sleeper. A glance at her clock told her she had forty minutes before the torture began. With a groan Helena dragged herself out of bed and into the bathroom. It used to take her ten minutes to leave the house. Throwing on random clothes and then brushing her teeth didn't exactly take too long. Now, it took her close to an hour every morning to leave her hotel room. Helena had also developed a passionate hatred of makeup. She dabbed randomly at her face; if it looked too weird she could always call it an acquired look or something equally stupid. Interpretive makeup! Chuckling slightly, Helena checked her watch. Shit, twenty minutes until she was late. She hightailed it out of the bathroom and looked for a pair of torture devices to strap onto her feet.

Vic was staring at her from the bed. 'Since when were you a morning person?'

'Since I became a bitchy, man-eating supermodel with serious anger issues,' replied Helena. She now stood in front of a suitcase overflowing with clothes, contemplating her choices: the slutty black dress or the sluttier grey dress?

'I thought you were going to breakfast, not street walking,' Vic's arms wrapped around her before she could hit him. He buried his face into her hair, 'I missed you.'

'I missed you too.' Helena toyed with Vic's hands for a moment before snatching up the black dress. 'And I am going to breakfast. I made the mistake of wearing clothes that actually covered my body on my first day. I was barely allowed into the building, Yuri ignored me completely and almost got himself kidnapped. So slutty, attention-seeking tramp is my new look.' Helena finished putting on the miniscule dress and jammed her feet into a pair of killer heels.

'I've got to go. You going back to those alpacas again?'

'No, they were just a red herring in the complicated world of global warming. I suspect the alpacas were being used as scapegoats by a multibillion dollar company to hide their carbon emissions. I just need the evidence...' Vic's mind was working over time again. 'Why would alpacas be used? What is the polar opposite of an alpaca?'

Helena started. The last question had been directed at her, rather than just being a thought spoken out loud. 'Vic, I really don't care what the polar opposite of an alpaca is. I'm late. I'll see you tonight?'

'Of course,' he said, 'I've got monitor duty until seven but after that, we can do whatever we want.'

'Can't wait.' With a lingering kiss, she dashed out of the room somewhat prepared for another day with the nauseating specimen of humanity known as Yuri.

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Sorry about how short and plot free this chapter is. I will DEFINITELY post the next chapter tomorrow and it will have ACTION! It may be somewhat influenced by my recent Batman watching (hint hint). I have the chapter written on paper and I just need to muster up the motivation to type it up.


	6. Clues

Can you believe it? i kept a promise! Here's the next chapter!

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Vic slid into the cool metal chair, readying himself for a long six hours. He was one of the few members of the Justice League who was allowed to do monitor duty by himself. The official reason was that he was able to do the all the work himself, hence negating the necessity of having a second person on monitor duty with him. The unofficial reason was that spending six hours listening to the Question sing bubble gum pop under his breath was enough to drive most people insane. Vic scanned the three large screens in front of him. One displayed a list of active missions and those involved in them, the other displayed a map of Earth which showed possible threats and dangers. The final screen displayed profiles on members of the league and listed those who were available to go on missions, should the need arise. It was always fascinating to look through each member's profile. The profiles had started off as plain old profiles with generic information to assist the person on monitor duty in selecting members to go on missions. As time progressed however, they became more _colourful _as easily distracted members of the League who were on monitor duty and had forgotten to bring another means of entertainment turned their attentions to the poor, hapless profiles. It was practically a ritual to check your own profile each time you were on monitor duty just to see what new piece of information had been added. Once Booster Gold had walked in on _Batman_ checking his own profile page. And people thought heroes were serious all the time. Before Vic had time to check his profile, the last time he'd seen it, it had featured the use of the words crackpot, crazed lunatic and just plain weird extensively, the centre screen started beeping. There were red dots on the map of the Earth showing threats to humanity. Vic sighed, time for actual work.

Helena's day was getting worse and worse. Breakfast had gone down spectacularly. Having every man in the room stare at her whilst every woman in the room glared at her was just ever so fun. The breakfast went way over time, due to a large, suspicious looking box that had somehow made its way into the breakfast hall. It belonged to no one in the hall and none of the catering staff had recognised it either. Security had been called in and the whole place had gone into lockdown. The box had turned out to be completely empty. After spending the longest afternoon in her life taking Yuri on a tour of Gotham, Helena was once again in a formal dress at a formal event surrounded by people she didn't know. It was the final event for this visit, a huge, extravagant dinner which was attended by major political figures of the US and of Russia and hordes of semi-famous hanger-ons from all over the country, including Bruce Wayne.

'That's odd,' thought Huntress, 'you'd think he'd at least tell me before he barges in here. This is _my _mission. Freaking uptight, pedantic, un-trusting loner who dresses up like an oversized bat every night and doesn't even trust people he's worked with for years...'

Vic was fuming. Why did people not take his aglets theory seriously? Someone, and he strongly suspected Stargirl, had written: 'Note: League member known for vandalism of property. Justifies his actions with the argument that our shoelaces will kill us all if we are not careful :P,' on his profile. He was about to edit it when the damned beeping interrupted him, again. He sighed, and turned his attention to the map of the Earth where there was a single red dot, hovering over a city that meant a lot to certain members of the League. Gotham City. Vic clicked on the red dot and scanned through the details of the situation. An unmarked, apparently harmless cardboard box had somehow made its way through close to a hundred security guards and packs of guard dogs to get into the hall where the Russian and US presidents were breakfasting. The relatively harmless incident sent alarm bells ringing through Vic's head. It was obviously a warning of some sort. If someone could get such a large box through security without anyone having seen it, then they could get other, more sinister things through too. Vic heard a barely audible rustle behind him. Someone else was thinking the same way too.

'Hello Batman.'

'Question. I've got this situation handled. Nobody else needs to be there. Gotham is my city. See to it that the other League members don't interfere.' With that, he was gone.

_A few hours ago_

Batman stared at the screen of his Bat Computer and ran a weary hand through his hair. His cowl lay on the ground beside him; he'd ripped it off in frustration after the third time he'd ran the samples he'd collected from the cardboard box through the computer. Minute traces of compounds used in the Joker's Joker venom. This was not good. The Batman did not believe in coincidences. Tonight's dinner was meant to be the climax of the Russians' visit to the US, it was the perfect time for the Joker to strike. He reached for his comm. link:

'Batman to Huntress, come in Huntress.' All he heard was static. 'Damn it.' There was no way this would be enough to call off the whole dinner. If the police wwere informed the most that would happen was extra security and that would tip off the Joker and let him know that they were onto him. 'Alfred! Prepare a tux and a limo, Bruce Wayne is going out tonight.'

'Very good Master Bruce, will you be in contact with that charming young man who goes by the Joker? If so I'll prepare one of your older tuxedos. It amazes me _how _you damage your clothes when you change into your batsuit. Why last time, you ripped the sleeve clean off your shirt!'

Helena nonchalantly approached Bruce, hoping that her reason for doing so wouldn't be too suspicious. As she did, she was waylayed by a man who was the splitting image of Yuri, except for his hair which he'd grown out to shoulder length. It was greasy and looked as though there were living things making it their home. Was there not a single normal person in that family?

'Valerie? Hello, I am Anton, Yuri's brother. Yuri has told me so much about you! You have to meet my girlfriend Hayley...'

'I'm sorry, I just have to go see my cousin, Bruce Wayne. We haven't seen each other in forever!' Helena scooted away as quickly as she could and dashed as quickly as she could in a floor length dress towards Bruce.

'Valerie! How good to see you!' Bruce said in his amiable Bruce voice. It was so different from his gruff, abrupt Batman voice. 'This is Valerie, my second cousin thrice removed. Or maybe my third cousin twice removed, I can never get it straight.' Bruce and the man he was speaking to both burst out laughing. Helena forced herself to laugh too. Damn whoever came up with her alias. She was going to hunt them down and make them pay for making her related to Batman.

'It's good to see you too Bruce. I wasn't expecting to see you tonight though. '

'Well, I wasn't planning oncoming but something came up and I found it suddenly quite necessary to come.' The look in his eyes told her he was in Batman mode. 'My beautiful cousin was going to be in town!' And Bruce Wayne mode was back. He leaned in to kiss Helena on the cheek. 'I suspect the Joker will strike tonight but I haven't got enough evidence.' Helena groaned inwardly. She'd been hoping for a relatively quiet night, though that was impossible considering the fact that they were in Gotham. She nodded almost imperceptibly and walked away to do a round of the room.

'Val-Val, there you are! Come, my brother tells me you have already met.' As the words came, an arm slid around Helena's waist and pulled her towards his brother. A blonde woman in a red and black dress was standing next to Anton.

'Ah Valerie, I'd like you to meet my gorgeous girlfriend. Valerie, this is Hayley, Hayley Queen.' Hayley looked at Helena through big, blue eyes.

'Pleased ter meet cha, Val. I think we're gonna be the best of friends. Don't you?' Hayley smiled at her creepily.

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Cliff hanger, kind of. SORRY.

I became semi-obsessed with Batman over the past few weeks. i think batman has the best villains and i had to incorporate a few of them in here. Anyway, please review!


	7. Impending Doom

Next chapter is up! Thank you to all the people who have been reviewing! The reviews are what gave me the motivation write this when i felt like watching Youtube all day.

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'Pleased to meet you too, Hayley,' Helena tried to keep up the indifferent facade. inside, her mind was reeling. Harley Quinn, evil hench-wrench of the Joker. The woman who'd managed to fall head over heels in love with a psychotic, raving sociopath of a clown with a tendency of killing people for a punch line. This was not looking good.

'Excuse me, I'd love to stay and talk but I simply must touch up my makeup. It's hard looking perfect all the time.' Helena excused herself and hurried to the bathroom. Of all the villains who frequented Gotham, it had to be the Joker. One of the most widely recognised and most feared members of Batman's ever expanding rogues gallery. It looked like she was going to be needing the Huntress costume she'd stashed in the bathroom earlier. Helena reached up to her comm. link, 'Batman? Huntress to Batman.' There was no response except static. She growled in frustration. Why did all of the League's fancy gadgets always break? The teleporters broke down on a regular basis and the communicators were either being used to control the minds of female League members or not working at all. Technology was a bitch. As she changed into her Huntress uniform, Helena noticed a pale purple gas fill the room. She felt a fit of giggles coming on. Within seconds the giggles turned into hysterical laughs. Helena felt her face freeze and contort. She couldn't stop laughing. Another laugh joined her own stained, unnatural laugh, this one demented and chilling.

'Huntress! Good to see you here,' came the voice of Gotham's clown prince of crime. 'I see you're getting acquainted with my new triple strength Joker venom! It's a shame you're here, to be honest. I was hoping to kill you in a more creative way. Still, can't complain. A dead bat in the hand is worth two in the belfry. Once Batsy gets here I'll have two dead bats! Hmmm, four bats in the belfry then? Have a nice death. Toodles! I've got bigger bats to fry... hahahahahahaha HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.'

Bruce Wayne, as a general rule, did not miss things. So he noticed that Helena from the room was missing quite quickly. He tried his comm. link but it still wasn't working. He was going to have words with maintenance... Quickly, Bruce walked to the corridor where he'd last seen her. The sound of faint laughter reached his ears.

'No,' he gasped as he barged into the bathroom he had heard the laughter come from; ignoring the fact that it was a female bathroom. Helena was slumped in the corner of the bathroom twitching and giggling weakly. Her face was well on its way to forming the terrifying Joker smile.

'Dammit,' growled Bruce. Not only was the Joker here but he'd gotten to a member of the Justice League and Bat-family. A distant member but a member nonetheless. He frantically dug around his specially designed tuxedo for the utility belt he kept on him at all times and pulled out his syringe of Joker venom antidote. He jabbed it into Helena's arm and sighed with relief as the manical expression on her face relaxed slightly. As much as he hated it, he knew he had to call in for back-up. Who knew what the Joker was going to pull.

'Batman to Watchtower. Requesting back-up.' There was no response. What the hell was wrong with communications?

Monitor duty was going slowly. Nothing had happened for hours. It was somewhat reminiscent of the calm before the storm. Yes, Vic really was _that _pessimistic. Despite the feeling of impending doom, he was on the verge of falling asleep. He'd been busy doing other things last night. A cackling laughter jolted Vic out of his day dream. The chilling laugh echoed around the cavernous monitor hub. The image on the center monitor started to flicker and disappear. It rearranged itself to form the picture of a man with chalk white skin and blood red lips.

'Hello Justice League! Boy am I excited to present to you my latest reality TV endeavour. After you foiled my most recent attempt, I was heartbroken. But I've bounced back with my newest show! Streamed directly to your Watchtower! Without further ado, witness the death of a few major politicians and other civilians, but more importantly, the pointy-eared freak himself, BATMAN! Oh, and Huntress, another pointy-eared freak. What is it about this city and pointy ears? Any-hoo, get ready to witness their deaths! Hahahahahahahahahaha, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.'

A large crowd had gathered in the monitor hub by now, thanks to the Joker somehow rigging all the loudspeakers in the Watchtower to broadcast his message of impending doom. The two other screens changed too. One showed a ballroom where hundreds of people were talking and eating. The other, the interior of a bathroom, where Bruce Wayne, now changed into his Batman costume, was standing over Huntress whose face was still locked into the Joker's smile.

'Huntress...' gasped Vic.

'Great Hera,' murmured Wonder Woman.

'Wait, the guy dresses up as a clown to commit crimes?' Several piercing looks were shot at Booster Gold. 'I'm just saying. You 21st century people are weird.'

'This is an omega level threat, every available member of the Justice League get down to the teleporters. Batman won't like it but he needs back-up.' commanded Superman in his booming voice.

The sound of snickering came from the monitor on the wall. 'Ooooh, funsies. I was hoping you'd do that. I can't wait to watch! Where's my popcorn...'

The Joker's words didn't stop the Justice League. Within minutes, the first round of Justice League members were ready to teleport down to Gotham city. The team consisted of Superman, Zatanna, Black Canary, Wonder Woman, Vixen and Booster Gold. They teleported down as the Joker's crazed laughs reverberated around the Watchtower. A split second later the Justice League knew why the Joker was laughing so hard. They watched as the six heroes materialised in thin air, miles above the ground. They ricocheted off something invisible and were sent flying into the air. The heroes capable of flight quickly grabbed onto those who were not as lucky. Beneath them, where Gotham used to be, was nothing but empty land.

'Hahahahahahahahahaha, I haven't laughed this hard since I accidentally inhaled some of my own laughing gas! Well, you see Juice Lickers, I have many useful connections in the criminal world. Lexy dearest, bless his shiny, bald noggin', introduced me to his gorilla friend back when they were recruiting for that Legion of Gloom. And for an ape, he sure had great technology! So I swiped his force field generator for an occasion like this. No one in or out of Gotham! Oh, and I've introduced a Joker-virus to all the computers in the Watchtower so communication is down and you can't talk to Batsy or Huntress but I think Miss Pointy Ears will be too busy with laughter to speak, coherently anyway. In a nutty little shell, there's nothing you can do! At all! Why so serious, Superman? Sit back and enjoy the show!'

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I love writing the Joker. It's just writing the first random thing that comes to mind.

I'm sorry I've been updating really slowly. I've been trying to make the chapters longer and schoolwork that I've been putting off is catching up with me.

Read and Review!


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